Post by Katie on Aug 11, 2003 18:53:54 GMT -5
"It feels good to be in control as opposed to out." I'm quoting a Bootcamp Buddy there, and it is SO true! So....I'm feeling GOOD!
I've decided that I do NOT want that bloated feeing that I always get when I binge and just graze without stopping. I don't feel really full, but I feel, and I apparently AM, bloated when that happens. So I'm eating small meals, stopping when I'm no longer hungry, and I'm working hard to get rid of the feeling that I have to be eating something ALL the time. It's a long time coming, but, you know what? I've been working on it for a heck of a long time, too! And I've succeeded!
Karate is an experience like I have never had before. I'm doing things that make me really test my view of myself--things that I don't think I can do, but then I try, and then I do them. For example, bending over with my hands on the floor and then getting down on my elbows, holding that and then walking myself back up---the first time I did that, I was really scared, but I did it anyway. And I got back up with NO help at all! Incredible for someone who could hardly take care of "the paperwork" in the bathroom last year. Or couldn't shop without needing to sit down after 5 minutes with severe back pain. I thank God for his help in getting me to this point everyday---obviously I couldn't do it on my own (or I would have!), so he's provided the strength and the opportunity for me. I just had to ask him for it, and listen.
I had a dream last nite that I was in the army, and that I was the same size I am now (about 215), but I was keeping up with all the young, slender girls in the troop. I even got ready to shower with them, and said "well, you guys know I'm overweight, so this is me!" or something like that. I think that my subconscious is getting ready to make the next step into "I'm normal," as opposed to being "I'm different cause I'm fat." And I'm ready to take all the steps needed to get there, like doing things I wouldn't normally do (e.g. karate). I'm no longer scared like I was to get under 200, and to get to my goal weight. I CAN handle it! Maybe it's easier when you get older......teens and 20's are hard times....who the heck are you anyway? I know who I am now, and I'm going to live my life to the fullest til my time on this earth is over.
Til next time, stay strong!
I've decided that I do NOT want that bloated feeing that I always get when I binge and just graze without stopping. I don't feel really full, but I feel, and I apparently AM, bloated when that happens. So I'm eating small meals, stopping when I'm no longer hungry, and I'm working hard to get rid of the feeling that I have to be eating something ALL the time. It's a long time coming, but, you know what? I've been working on it for a heck of a long time, too! And I've succeeded!
Karate is an experience like I have never had before. I'm doing things that make me really test my view of myself--things that I don't think I can do, but then I try, and then I do them. For example, bending over with my hands on the floor and then getting down on my elbows, holding that and then walking myself back up---the first time I did that, I was really scared, but I did it anyway. And I got back up with NO help at all! Incredible for someone who could hardly take care of "the paperwork" in the bathroom last year. Or couldn't shop without needing to sit down after 5 minutes with severe back pain. I thank God for his help in getting me to this point everyday---obviously I couldn't do it on my own (or I would have!), so he's provided the strength and the opportunity for me. I just had to ask him for it, and listen.
I had a dream last nite that I was in the army, and that I was the same size I am now (about 215), but I was keeping up with all the young, slender girls in the troop. I even got ready to shower with them, and said "well, you guys know I'm overweight, so this is me!" or something like that. I think that my subconscious is getting ready to make the next step into "I'm normal," as opposed to being "I'm different cause I'm fat." And I'm ready to take all the steps needed to get there, like doing things I wouldn't normally do (e.g. karate). I'm no longer scared like I was to get under 200, and to get to my goal weight. I CAN handle it! Maybe it's easier when you get older......teens and 20's are hard times....who the heck are you anyway? I know who I am now, and I'm going to live my life to the fullest til my time on this earth is over.
Til next time, stay strong!
